Shine Fearlessly

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I have learned many tools that I am using and working to incorporate into my daily life in order to create the life I so desperately desire.  I am committing in 2019 to Shine Fearlessly…to be my true self and let the world know it, without fear of rejection.  Sure, some people won’t understand or approve, but that is on them, not on me.  I can no longer be the person I think I am suppose to be.  I need to be ME.

It seems with every high comes a low equal in magnitude.  So I am riding the waves, weathering the storm, and learning to dance in the rain.  Every day, in every respect, I am getting better and better.

The most profound discovery I made was the other night, I realized that I feel guilty for wanting to make something of my art as a business.  Because I am educated in health care, and I have a great job that I use to love, and I have the opportunity to help multiple people every single day.  I make a difference in peoples lives, every day that I work at the hospital.  And yet, I don’t feel fulfilled.  I don’t feel satisfied.  Instead, I feel drained and lacking.  Even with knowing my job well, having done it for over 14 years, I have very little confidence or pride in my work anymore.  I live in constant fear of making a life altering mistake for someone else.  Always striving for perfection, never reaching it, and always questioning if I have done a good enough job.  And this way of thinking is supported by the hospital environment and community.  I feel like I am not important, I am not an individual there.  I am replaceable.  I am a worker bee, doing as much as humanly possible, ignoring my self care needs in order to take care of others to a level that is not maintainable.  Burn out is real, folks.  And leaves me feeling like I have failed, not just myself or my work, but the entire world and all the people that I love.  It’s a heavy feeling.

I am focusing on knowing that my art also makes a difference to people.  It speaks to people and reaches them on an emotional level.  Whether it comforts them or reminds them of their strength and courage, or it inspires them.  People can relate to my paintings, and know that they are not alone in this world.  Many of my paintings have a dark and a light side to them, intentionally.  Despite how dark it seems, there is always light.  We witness and experience what we focus on.  And sometimes we miss the light because we are focused on the dark, or the fear.  But if we look to the light, and focus on opportunity, the dark won’t feel so daunting.  In fact, we may not even notice it after a while.  🙂

How do you intend to shine fearlessly and be true to yourself in 2019? 97d1728e3f0c7b330292f7508c80ef4b

A Mini a Day

It is that time of year again, where we all make New Year’s resolutions to lose weight and eat healthier, or to exercise, or make more money.  Resolutions are easy to allow to get away from us.  Our goal to lose 50lbs when you have a whole year to do it sounds realistic…until a few months in and you’re “only” down 5-10 lbs.  Celebrate your successes!!!  And make sure you follow the SMART goal setting template when setting your resolutions.  Even, perhaps, break down each goal into monthly action plans, to help you get started right away, and be successful in maintaining your momentum throughout the year.

For me…I have some pretty big goals I am working towards for 2019.  I have some big dreams that I am not yet sharing, that I would love to come true this year.  One of them is applying for and being accepted into The Artist Project for 2020.  That’s a big deal for me.

But on a smaller, much more doable and even more important level, I want to integrate self care into every single day.  As well as I want to continue to establish myself as an artist and entrepreneur.  So…starting January 1st, I intend to paint at least one 6×6 per day.  I love this size as it is very satisfying and can be completed in a short amount of time…as in during one sitting.  And multiple 6x6s look fantastic grouped together on display.  The themes may change, but I am committing to doing one a day.  As a warm up or as an individual project.

How is this a beneficial resolution you ask?  Well…for a few reasons.  Firstly, art is my way of expressing my emotions and experiencing joy.  So if I paint every day, it is like journaling or meditating for me.  Also, in order to grow my art business, I need to be creating constantly, rather than binge painting the way I do now, which is very stressful.  So by committing to one a day, even on my busy with other life stuff days, I will have completed a task for my business and that will make me feel productive, proud and positive.  It’s a win win!

What is one of your resolutions for 2019?  Please, share with us!  I would love to see what you are wanting to manifest this year!  Cheers!